just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
