The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
