Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
