he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
