Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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