john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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