Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
