It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Jerry, you need to find god
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
