Me. At least after what I've been through.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
