so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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