And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
They took my balls.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
