yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
