eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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