What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My ass is underappreciated
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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