I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
