sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
