Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
