Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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