also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
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Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Never underestimate the power of titties
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