Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
