I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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