i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
