He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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