i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
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I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
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I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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