i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
