Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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