you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
