i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
