you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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