So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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