some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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