yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
