I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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