Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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