Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.