she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
