dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
