Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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