so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
