going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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