Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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