At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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