i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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