The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize