Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
