You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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