Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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