I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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