batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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