Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
