Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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