If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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