i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
