ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
