i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
