The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
