Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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