I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
