they need to just BURY HIM!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
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definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
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It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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