then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize