grandma shit on top of the toilet
Duck Duck Cougar?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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