i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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