dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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