Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
