Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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