Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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