so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
