Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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