You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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