At least make sure they are 18
Why
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
