She said her name was "party"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
