So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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